The Arrest

Everyday I watch my son, from morning until night, searching for a way to get high. It looks exhausting. But for almost 14 years now he’s either high or dope sick. He used to be my joy in life. Now I look at him with disgust and pain.

I still love him with all my heart and I 100% believe this addiction is involuntary after years of using, I just don’t understand how he lies to me, steals from me and is holding me hostage with no remorse. He’s 31 and I keep telling him “I cant support you”, “if you wont go to rehab just go live somewhere else”. Unfortunately it falls on deaf ears. Because my love for him has enabled him to use me.

Sometimes his addiction gets really bad. He’s always texting someone, then he leaves. He comes back and goes upstairs and I don’t see him the rest of the day. The only way he can get high is to run and get drugs for someone else and he takes some out of theirs. So many times I sit here, knowing he took someone’s money and never met up with them and is out there somewhere getting high. I knew that because I had an old phone of his and I could see his messages. But the messages I saw were from pissed off dope sick addicts that were threatening to come here , my house where they think he is and burn it down, shoot it up or kick in the door. I couldn’t imagine putting my mom in danger like that.

But opioids make dope the only important thing in life and he’ll never give up his only love. It’s sad.

But I told him over and over that the police know who the druggies are in town. And the way he goes in and out of my house makes my home look like a drug house. But he never listens. So last September at 530 in the morning I heard the aggressive “cop knock”.

As I opened the door to a flashlight in my face I heard a very loud “Where’s Wyatt?” 3 officers pushed by me before I could finish the sentence saying “on the third floor”. One cop screamed at me to call my dog but my sweet girl was standing there with a toy, thinking all these people came to admire the toy she picked out to show them. But in their defense she’s a 100 pound white German Shepard and probably seemed a bit menacing.